youpi

TiRrOiRs d'AbSuRdisTaN

Vendredi 8 novembre 2013 à 20:37

 

C'était la nuit. Début novembre. Dans un quartier pas très bien famé, aux alentours d'une gare. Fafreluche décide de sortir de l'appart'. Fafreluche a besoin d'air. D'alcool surtout. Elle tâte les pièces dans sa poche. Deux bières à 0,80 euros. La voilà dans la rue, la clope au bec, se ramenant devant l'arabe du coin, qui est italien. Pas question de jeter une clope pas finie, donc elle s'adosse au mur de la ruelle en face de l'arabe, ou plutôt de l'italien afin de têter sa roulée jusqu'aux doigts. Elle pivote la tête à droite, et ses yeux tombent dans le potentiel lumineux.... de deux gyrophares.

Elle se raidit. A gauche : rien. A droite : rien. Elle jette son mégot. Passe côté route en frôlant la caisse au gros lot. Toujours personne. Elle empoigne un premier gyro. Les aimants sont puissants, elle est surprise, les deux sont reliés, elle arrache le deuxième, et commence à partir. Ça tire, un fil entre par une fenêtre entr'ouverte à l'intérieur de la voiture. Elle se rapproche très vite, tire un grand coup et part en courant au bout de la ruelle. Tourne à droite. Ouf! la rue n'est pas éclairée.
L'adrénaline bat son plein. Il faut trouver une solution.. très vite, se dit-elle, je ne peux pas me promener avec des gyrophares dans la rue. Elle avance sur le qui-vive, le pas rapide. Un bruit de moteur ronfle dans son dos. Panique ! Ils vont me retrouver ! Elle accélère. Le bruit de moteur plus fort. Des poubelles, des cartons. Elle lâche les gyros dans un carton ouvert. Le moteur tout proche. Plus fort. Le véhicule s'est arrêté. Une voix au ton viril lui jette : « Qu'est-ce que tu fais ? »

Elle se sent attaquée, coupable et pleine de courage désinvolte, elle balance : « On a plus le droit de faire les poubelles ?!!! »
Il fait un noir total. Elle est redressée face au véhicule. Ça a l'air d'une camionnette.
- Tiens, crie le gars, prends si t'as besoin!
Elle entend un bruit de papier.
- Tu me prends pour une pute ? Mais sérieux ! elle crie.
- J'te connais pas et je propose de t'aider et tu gueules ?!
Fafreluche comprends la malentendu. Elle se rapproche pour essayer de deviner son visage.
- Ok, désolée, je voulais pas être agressive. 
Elle saisit le papier froissé et enchaîne:
- C'est comment votre prénom, que j'men souvienne !

Le gars répond, elle a déjà oublié. Fafreluche fourre le ticket dans sa poche, empoigne la carton et file droit. Le plus droit possible jusqu'à l'appart'.

Les six étages gobés, elle entre fière de ses victuailles. Les autres viennent autour : "des gyrophares ! Sérieux, t'as fait ça comment ?"   "Tu les sors d'où ? T'es dingue ?"   " Trop la classe" – normal, c'est des sympathisants nanards - et elle sort de sa poche le papier encore mystérieux... 50 euros !

Moral de l'histoire : Fafreluche n'a jamais pu culpabilisé d'avoir volé des gyrophares.

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